It is a type of grass that I have never seen before.

People said that “During the cold winter, when myriads of living things on the earth are die out, this grass still stands.  Spiritedly standing to greet the chilly snowstorm.  They grip their roots on the ground in the innumerable puoins to endure the bitter cold and the test of the storm, and face the direction of warm spring breeze that will arrive soon with determined mind.”

Its name is winter-endurable grass.

When I first heard the story of winter-endurable grass, I was astonished by it’s robustness.  There is a warm spring as well as a radiant summer in a human’s life.  But, a succession of vicissitudes - birth, aging, sickness and death bring helplessness and roughness into one’s life.  It is like the cold winter with the northern wind howling, which makes one shiver and freeze the heart and to the bone.

When I think of winter-endurable grass, it makes me think of her story as well……

Although my hometown’s scenery is lovely; but it had become distant, blurry, and hard to distinguish to Hui Fen long time ago.  She was given away when she was nine years old to a neighboring village to be an adopted daughter grudgingly because her family was poor.  Fortunately, she was wise and gentle enough to face this huge transformation with her sensible mind.  In her wealthy new home, the adopted parents doted on her.  They let her enjoyed the warmth and care of the family daily.

Unexpectedly, the building materials business run by her adopted father was affected by economic depressions.  The factory gradually had excessive inventory and it was heavily in debt.  The tense atmosphere at home made her extremely frightened.  Her adopted mother, who was always affectionate to her, became unstable.  Her adopted mother would slap her face for a slightly distasteful thing, which built a very deep gap between them.  She was more intimate to her adopted father.  As her young age, she was unable to understand the reason of her adopted mother’s behavior.  She had an inauspicious premonition while seeing at her adopted father drank all day long.  Unfortunately, this premonition soon happened.  In a winter night that everybody was sound asleep, her adopted father took a large dose of drug to commit suicide.  It was too late when family member found him dead on the bed.  He had ended his premature life and also taken away the happy dream from Hui Fen.

Her adopted father’s death put her adopted mother in deep sorrow.  She blamed all the disasters to Hui Fen.  Her adopted mother cursed her frequently.  Moreover, she threatened to turn her out.  Shortly, she was compelled to leave that home to tread on a more sorrowful road.

She was only fifteen that year.

She lived an inhuman life when she was still in the innocent age.  Those days were an endless nightmars.  Everyday, she sold her body to a variety of strangers in a dimly small room.  A cloth of curtain could not stop the noisy footsteps from outside.  Every time when the curtain was lifted, an ugly face of a stranger suddenly appeared, which made her whole body shiver.  She was like a pitiful floret that couldn’t endure the attack of the rainstorm.

She had tried to escape.  But, she failed again and again, which only traded her numerous wounds and the burnt scars by cigarette butts.  She could only clench her teeth to face each horrible day.  But, she hadn’t give up hope.  She truly believed that someday she could certainly release from the abyss of misery.  And, it really happened.  One day, a large-scale raid rescued Hui Fen from the fiery pit.

She was only twenty-two years old that year.  But, she was like a hobo who had experienced vicissitudes and didn’t have a home to evade the rainstorm.  She wanted to end her life several times but accidentally discovered that she was pregnant.  For the sake of the innocent little life in her belly, she had to encourage herself to stand up again to face everything.  Providentially, she bought a house under the assistance of Zhen Zhu and other friends.  Temporarily, she had a place to live and Xing Er was born in a late silent night.

Xing Er (lucky baby) is the name that she gave to her child.  She hoped that because of the birth of her child, it would bring brightness and sweep away the haze from her unfortunate destiny.

It didn’t let her down at all.  Xing Er was naive and energetic who brought her innumerable joy.  Everyday, when she dragged her exhausted body entering the door that Xing Er would pour a cup of tea for her.  Although it was a small gesture but it was enough to chase her worry away.  After that, she attended a succession of training.  She was getting ready to face everything in the society again.  Although she had separated from the evil clutches but to a contaminator like her that she still felt inferior and didn’t know what to do mentally.  Right at this moment, Zhen Zhu came into her life and brought her the hope.

Zhen Zhu was twenty years older than Hui Fen.  When they just met, she was deeply moved by a concern of fatherly love that sent out from his body.  It made her thinking of her adopted father who had committed suicide many years ago.  Although Zhen Zhu was a worker who only had a meager income but Hui Fen thought it was sufficient for her, after all, he didn’t shut her out for what she had done in the past.  After seeing each other for less than three months, they walked to the altar hand in hand.  Although their newlywed life wasn’t as sweet and romantic as what others had described to her but Hui Fen didn’t mind.  After went through all these, what she really wanted was a stable family.  And Zhen Zhu didn’t disappoint her at all.

When Hui Fen thought that she had found a permanent haven, the destiny played a big joke to her.  Zhen Zhu died in an accident.  When Hui Fen rushed to the hospital, what she faced was a distorted body covered with blood.  She was vague and she seemed to see the apologetic expression of Zhen Zhu.  It was a profound helplessness.  Because he had said that he wanted to look after her the whole life.  But he didn’t keep his promise.  And what he had left her was a heartbreaking memory!

In order to increase her income, she was doing some handcrafts at home during the night concurrently.  Xing Er leant against her arm by her side under the nightlight.  Although their life was impoverished but there was a trifle warm.  She would think of the difficult life of hers sometimes and would sigh for the ridicule of the god of destiny.  However, she was very grateful for having Xing Er.

In a jiffy, Xing Er was already a second grade student in the elementary school.  After walking her to school daily Hui Fen then rushed to the factory hastily.  One day, Hui Fen had to go to work early because of her factory was rushing a job.  Before she left, she exhorted Xing Er to take care of herself on the way to school.  Unexpectedly, it turned out to be a regret!  Shortly after she arrived for work, the foreman of the factory transferred her phone call to her with a heavy complexion on his face.  It was Xing Er’s teacher.  That Xing Er had a car accident and her life was in danger.  Learning this news suddenly, Hui Fen’s heart was broken into pieces.  The image of Zhen Zhu’ passing from several years ago reappeared in front of her eyes.  She didn’t stop praying in her heart.  She rushed to the hospital accompanying by her colleague.  But still it was too late.  Xing Er was already sent into the morgue one minute ago.  Lifting up that piece of white cloth and looking at the tender face of Xing Er, which had contaminated by the blood flowing out of her seven orifices.  Hui Fen was in consternation that made her unable to cry.  She cried out loud in her heart: “Why?  How come the dawn that has just appeared that disappeared again?  Does it mean my destiny is doomed to be in the darkness and to be painful?”  She complained that there were too much unfairness in this world and she also hated herself for why she had to take the suffering like this?

In order to relieve the doubts in her mind, Hui Fen went everywhere to seek divine help and to ask for divination.  But after a while, she still didn’t know the answer.  In an unintentional circumstance, she started to try to make contact with the Buddhism under the guidance of a friend.  She was more anxious to seek the philosophy of life than anyone else because the doubts had grown thickly in her heart.  Finally, she saw the dawn again.  She recalled all the things that she had experienced which were the results of the causes and effects originally.  Why blamed god and others for that?  Why not grasped the human body of the present life to absolve her Former Karma according to the circumstances, to wipe out the weeds in her mind and to sow the bright and happy seed in her mind again.

Hui Fen’s mind had a huge transformation because of studying of the Buddhadharma.  Gradually, she understood how to give of her meager strength in doing some altruistic work to benefit others.  Besides cleaning up the orphanage voluntarily during the holidays, she also participated the ranks of adoption of the children.  She stood up on her feet again now.  No matter how big the hindrance or setback would be in the future.  She already had the preparation that she would greet the wind and the rain until she found the source of the brightness.

There will be a warm spring after the severe winter.  The lovely winter-endurable grass glistened with the dewdrop preparing to stick out its chest bravely to bridge over all the sufferings and calamities.