"TODAY IS THE XX DAY OF 2004.  THERE ARE XX DAYS LEFT"

"TODAY IS THE XX DAY OF 2004.  THERE ARE XX DAYS LEFT"

We often see this reminder caption on television.  When I was young I was ignorant and didn't understand how quickly time passess.  Whenever I saw an elder shaking his/her head sighing because time was passing so quickly, I would always shout and sy something opposite: "It is so boring!  I have nothing to do!  Why does time pass so slowly?"  Ha!  I don't know when I became silent instead of shouting.  Likely a few gray hairs appeared on my head and reflected in the mirror.  It seems that the gray hairs have followed in the footsteps of the rapidly changing seasons.  If it weren't for me shaving off my hair so often, those gray hairs would become more noticeable on the top of my head.  These gray hairs are not the result of youth.  They are the sign of the beginning of my middle age.  Life is so short.  It is truly as the Buddha taught: "Life is between the inhale and the exhale."

Colorful leaves and pumpkins, the summer season is gone again!  Someone asked me: "What have you done during this summer?"

This summer...

I have been in the States for four years.  It was the first time I had gone back to my country to visit with the Abbot, my Dharma brothers and sisters, my friends and my family.  A short one-month visit passed quickly and left me a little tired!

This summer..

We finally had the old leaking roof on the Zen Meditation Center and Retreat House replaced.  The new brown roof blends well with the color of the main building.  It looks magnificent!

This summer...

I put the strength of nine-oxen and two-tigers in painting the whole stairway that leads to the small bridge in the back of the Retreat House.  The clean and clear stairway is an excellent place to view the beautiful scenery.

This summer...

No!  No!  These are not the accomplishments of this season.  And these are not the answers that I want to share with you when you asked me.

After returning to Taiwan, I saw my mother whom I haven't seen in a very long time.  My mother's age is becoming more evident.  Her footsteps aren't as sure as before.  How far has my practice advanced in this time frightens me.  When impermanence comes, will I still have the ability to keep the vow I took in front of the Buddha: to liberate my parent from the Cyclic Existence of the Six Realms.  In my Master's temple.  I heard that one or two middle-aged Dharma brothers have turned into an urn of ashes residing in the Seven-Buddha Stupa.  I had deeply experienced the illusionary and impermanence of human life.

I started the roofing project as soon as I returned to the States.  Searchingfor reliable contractors, signing the contract then finally the roofing project started.  Concerned about the quality of the workmanship.  I became a frequent visitor on the roof.  Recalling the first time I stepped on the roof, it was as though my feet were glued to the roof.  I just stood in the same spot without moving.  Then, I began to move around one step at a time to overcome my fear.  I told myself that: Everywhere is a safe place as long as I have awareness at all times.  The outer environment is not dangerous but a mind without awareness is very dangerous.

After replacing the roof, cleaning the gutters became my next project.  It has been four years since the gutters located at the backside of the roof have been cleaned because of my fear of heights.  The debris left from the roof replacement caused the gutters to become completely blocked.  While the weather was still warm and sunny, I climbed on the roof and my adventure began.  The two-story height plus the sloping hillside by the creek made me dizzy.  I sat down and calmed my mind.  I avoided looking down and did not look back.  I concentrated on the present moment and working at a steady pace, neither too fast nor too slow, and completed the job.  On our journey through life, living in the present moment is precious.

Since I had decided to paint the staircase at the back of the Retreat House, the stairway was always in my mind during my daily activities.  What color paint should be used?  From which side should I start?  How many days would it take?  I asked myself: "Why is this so complicated?  Why do I have so many thoughts?  This tiny job caused enormous thought to arise.  How can I then face any tests in the way of my practice?  Just do what I should do in the present moment."

This summer...

I was very fulfilled.